Tuesdays With Henry - Week Fifteen

I'm headed to New York early tomorrow morning for a quick three day trip and still have tons to do to get ready so I don't have time for a full post. Wish Brian luck as he embarks on a three day stint of being the sole parent on duty. Maybe I can convince him to write a post about what it was like. I'm sad to be leaving Henry and Oliver (and Brian) but I'm kind of looking forward to two nights of good sleep and three days of not wearing spit up on my shoulder. 

Tuesdays With Henry - Week Fourteen

Run Like a Mother.

The hardest part of bed rest for me was giving up the idea that I was going to be that eight and a half month pregnant lady hoofing it around Town Lake three times a week. I worked hard in the year before I got pregnant with Henry to become a runner and I was really looking forward to continuing that throughout my pregnancy. I ran three or more miles three times a week up until my first hospitalization when I was told that not only could I not run anymore but that all physical activity was out.

Three months of bed rest followed by eight weeks of limited activity after my c section left my body unrecognizable to me. I lost all of my muscle mass and all of my endurance and I was nervous about how long it was going to take me to recover.

As soon as I got the go ahead from the doctor at my eight week appointment, I headed out to the trail. I knew it would be slow going so I resolved myself to start with my Couch To 5K program again (that's how I started last time and within nine months I was running a half marathon). The first day out felt great and every day after that has felt even better. I'm up to running eight minute stretches at a time over a thirty minute run and I've managed to run an entire mile in a row (I gave it a shot one day after I finished the C25K workout and was pleased with the results). My pace isn't what I want it to be but it's not too far off. All in all, my running recovery is going much more smoothly and quickly than I had thought possible. I plan to run a half marathon in November and my goal is to finish a full marathon before Henry turns one.

But the running hasn't been enough to help me start feeling strong again. My pregnancy and bed rest made me feel completely out of control (obviously) and like I couldn't rely on my body to do what it's supposed to do. I wanted something that would challenge me mentally and physically and let me see how strong I can become. So, three weeks ago Saturday I went to a free community workout at a local CrossFit gym. The workout kicked my butt. I was sore for four days afterwards but it felt good. The Monday after that I started the three day Elements class (a prerequisite you have to take before starting normal classes) and last Tuesday at 5:30 AM I found myself in my first official CrossFit class - trying my best to do a workout I never thought I'd be able to do.

I go every Tuesday and Thursday, and although it's not easy to get up at 4:45 two days a week (especially since Henry is still up three or four times a night), it feels pretty great to go, knock out a super tough work out, and be done by 6:30 in the morning. During the first class our workout included box jumps where we were to stand on the ground and then jump with both feet up onto a box 20 inches tall and then back down. I could only manage four or five before my legs felt crazy wobbly and I had to switch to just stepping up on the box and stepping back down. Today our workout called for box jumps again - 55 of them - and I jumped up on that box every. single. time. And I had a ridiculously huge grin on my face the whole time. I'm getting stronger. Slowly but surely, it's happening.

Tuesdays With Henry - Week Thirteen

Henry is now officially three months old (as of Sunday). How is that possible?

We were down in San Antonio this weekend to celebrate my mom's birthday and Mother's Day. We had a lot of fun just hanging out at the house - playing games with Oliver and cooing at Henry. And on Sunday, Brian made eggs benedict. So delicious.

Henry's new favorite thing is the mobile my mom has hanging above the changing table at her house. When he'd get his diaper changed, he'd stare up at the mobile and kick his feet and coo and smile. Ever since we came home on Sunday, he's looked up disappointed every time I lay him down on our mobile-free changing pad. 

Here are the pictures from this week. He hasn't been sleeping worth crap the past few days (very few naps and terrible night sleep) and we are battling a bunch of really bad rashes - diaper rash, a gnarly looking red rash in his neck fat, and cradle cap - but he doesn't look too miserable, right?

What's He Looking At?

So, we all know I'm crazy, right? I'm obsessed with the idea that there might be something wrong with Henry. I can't let the stress of my pregnancy go and I spend too much time on google second guessing everything that Henry is doing or not doing. He started smiling and even doing some cooing (and I swear even some giggling) a few weeks ago (way behind schedule as far as I was concerned) but I was still worried.

In the last two weeks I got really concerned that he couldn't see properly. He would smile at me but only in response to my voice. If I put my face in his and smiled without making a sound he wouldn't even look at me. And when he was smiling at me, he wasn't really looking at me. I kept telling myself it was all in my head but the thought that he couldn't see well kept creeping up on me. 

And then other people started noticing it. People would come up to him, stick their face in his and coo at him and he'd stare off into space. More than one person asked me: "What's he looking at anyway?" And then at dinner one night, I was holding in my lap facing out and Oliver was talking about something. Brian said: "Look, Oliver, Henry's looking at you!" and Oliver took one look at his brother and said: "No, he's not. I don't know what he's looking at." 

Commence paranoid Mommy tailspin.

I made an appointment last Tuesday with our pediatrician telling them that I have concerns about his vision - that he doesn't seem to be looking at me, that he doesn't track objects, that he doesn't enjoy looking at his mobile or any toys, etc. I timed our day so that when we got there Henry was in an awake and alert phase. So, we get back to the exam room and he's smiling and cooing and (I swear!) staring right at me. But I'm not sure. Maybe I'm just in the way of his eyes? And then we wait. And we wait. And we wait. And by the time the doctor finally comes in, he's tired and his eyes are glazing over and he's, once again, staring off into space despite repeated attempts by the doctor and myself to get him to look at us. Dr. Sharp tell me that she trusts me. That if I think there's something wrong, that we should get it checked out. She tries to get him to track an object and he won't. She gives me the name of a pediatric ophthalmologist and I leave feeling dejected - I was hoping she'd check him out and just tell me that I'm crazy. 

I called the eye doctor as soon as I left and he was booked through June. So, I called Dr. Sharp back and asked for a different recommendation. I called that office and got an appointment for Thursday. No way was I waiting until June to have my fears addressed. And then I made the decision to take the rest of the week off. I needed to stop trying to work and be a mom to Henry at the same time - if only for three days. My three day maternity leave! 

I spent Wednesday at home with Henry - talking and singing to him and enjoying all the smiles and coos he threw my way (and there were a ton). On Wednesday afternoon, Henry was waking up from a nap in his room. I walked in, looked over the edge of his crib and smiled at him without making a sound. He looked up at me and flashed me a huge grin in response - marking the first time he ever smiled in response to just my face as opposed to my voice. Yep. I'm crazy.

On Thursday, Brian came home at eleven and we went and had lunch and then drove over to Henry's appointment. We got into the exam room and listed our (okay, my) concerns to the nurse. The nurse said that they would have to dilate his eyes to examine him but that the doctor would probably want to see him first. When the doctor came in, Henry was really fussy and wouldn't cooperate. They left us alone and we got him to calm down. I placed him in my lap looking up at me and started talking and he started smiling and cooing at me. The nurse came in to dilate him and Henry looked right at her face and smiled right at her (little stinker). The doctor came in twenty minutes later and Henry smiled right at her (seriously, kid, you're making me look bad). She examined his eyes and then held up a couple of different toys and objects and tried to get Henry to track them. Which he did. He followed them everywhere she moved them. She was very nice. She didn't say to me: "You're obviously crazy." She noted that he has a normal refractive error for a baby his age but that he seems to be focusing on objects and faces and his tracking is fine. Of course, while she's saying these things, Henry was staring off to this right - seemingly at nothing. The doctor said that could be a touch of torticollis or could be a response to his being tired. 

So, he's normal. Again. I should really just get that through my head but it's not working. Luckily the other thing I got done last week is a list of therapist recommendations. So, the next call for an appointment won't be for Henry. It will be for me.

When we were done at the doctor's we went and got Oliver and brought both boys home. I put Henry in his crib and turned his mobile on and he immediately stared up at him and started kicking his feet and smiling - for the first time ever. This kid is determined to teach me patience. 

Tuesdays With Henry - Week Twelve

We've had a good week. My insanity lead us to a few doctor's appointments this past week for Henry but, good news! He's not blind! (Long story - I'll post it later). 

I can't believe Henry is twelve weeks old already. The past three months have flown by and yet we still have no discernible schedule. Every day is different. Some days I take Henry into the store, some days we are at home. Some days I take Oliver to school but mostly it's Brian handling that. And it doesn't seem likely that we will have a regular schedule any time soon. Open Door called today and the good news is that Henry has a start date at school. The bad news is that the start date is the first Monday of September. I don't know how we are going to get through the summer. Being a work at home Mom is crazy stressful but it seems silly to try to find him a spot somewhere else for a few short months.

This week's Tuesdays With Henry marks a very important development - the first week in which he was awake, alert, and happy to participate! 

As Oliver says: "Look at that smile-lel!" (Oliver loves to add extra syllables to every word. His brother's name is Henarey in case you were curious).