Next Tuesday afternoon I am heading off to California for a book conference and meetings in San Jose and San Francisco. I will be gone until Monday morning (my flight comes in at midnight on Sunday night). That means I will be away from my little man for five full days and six nights (since I don’t expect to wake him up when I get to the house late late late Sunday night). I’ve spent hours obsessing about getting ready for this trip. A week is a long time for a nursing mom to be away from her kiddo and it’s been quite the struggle to make sure I’ve got enough milk in the freezer for Brian. Thankfully, I’ve hit that mark (Brian’s got more than he will need) but there were times that I was afraid I wasn’t going to make it. And, there have been times when I’ve considered using this trip as a chance to wean Oliver but I couldn’t bring myself to do it two months shy of a year. I’m too close to that goal to give it up. But I’m afraid that being away from him for so long might throw a loop in our so far really successful nursing routine. I’m also afraid that he will either miss me terribly when I’m gone (and be a beast for Brian) or he will totally forget who I am. Or, that if he misses me too much while I’m gone that he will be out of control clingy when I get back. I’m also not looking forward to pumping for six days. Pumping is my least favorite part of the whole breastfeeding experience and it totally stinks that I will spend six days hooked up to the machine just two months shy of when I wanted to start weaning. Plus, there’s the whole trial of trying to come back on the plane with a bunch of breast milk. I’ve already decided not to try to bring it all back (I will pump and dump for the first couple of days) since I don’t need to build up another big freezer stash but I will be flying back with around 20 ounces. Fun.
The one thing I’m not worried about is Oliver. Oliver and Brian will be great (although to all of our Austin friends, please keep in mind that Brian will be the sole parent on duty next week and will definitely be open to some visits or outings with other adults). As much as the trip will be a struggle for me, I’ve got it easy compared to Brian. I can’t even imagine being a single parent for a week. I don’t think I would have it in me.
Despite all of the worries and concerns about the trip I am still looking forward to it. It’s my favorite work trip of the year as it’s a chance to get together with a ton of independent booksellers from around the country and compare notes. I always learn a lot and come back inspired to throw myself into my work. I’m also, truth be told, looking forward to the six nights of being able to sleep without listening for Oliver. What a luxury. So, wish us all luck next week! I will try to convince Brian to write a blog entry about his week about his adventures as a single parent since I think his week will be much more interesting than mine!
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