Two Week Survival Kit

We survived the first two weeks of parenthood so, of course, we are now experts at what it takes to deal with a newborn (ha!). But I do have a list of things that I consider “must haves” for those first few weeks home with baby. These things certainly made our adjustment easier but this is by no means an exhaustive list. 

But before I get to the list let me just say that the number one thing that has let me “survive” these past two weeks has been Brian. He’s a great father and a great partner. Even though I am breastfeeding, Brian spends a fair share of his nights awake, too. I feed Oliver and then hand him to Brian to be changed and swaddled - letting me get back to sleep more quickly. He is quick to change a diaper, sing a song, rock and soothe Oliver and I’ve loved every minute of seeing him be a dad. Oliver and I are both very loved and very lucky.

Here are the things that helped us survive (in order of importance):

1. Grandmothers - We’ve been fortunate enough to have both my mother and Brian’s mother stay with us for these first few weeks (my mom was here the first week and Brian’s mom was here the second). I can’t even imagine how little sleep we would have gotten, how hungry and unwashed we would be, how cranky Oliver would be or how unbelievably filthy our house would be without our moms’ help. Brian had to go back to class the day after we came home from the hospital so if it hadn’t been for our moms I would have been on my own during the day. I don’t think I would have handled that well - emotionally or physically. We are so grateful to both of them for staying with us.
2. Friends (and their blogs) - In the past few weeks we’ve had numerous friends come to visit and meet Oliver. Many of them have brought food which has saved us from having to cook and from having to go to the grocery store. Others have brought DVDs and books to keep me entertained during the numerous hours of nursing. But all of them have come with a desire to hold, rock and soothe a newborn baby which has allowed Brian and I to take a break, finish a meal and relax. These visits have also given us the opportunity for adult conversation that doesn’t (always) have to be about poop thus making us feel more human. I’ve also been so grateful to our friends with kids for their advice and stories and their blogs. When I’m having a rough time with Oliver I visit Robin and Laurie’s blog to read about her experiences with Lydia or Aaron and Jessica’s blog to read about their son, Aidan. Their blogs remind me that it’s not all easy but the tough moments will pass.
3. Miracle Blanket - Robin and Laurie tipped us off to the existence of this handy dandy little contraption. For those of you who don’t know about the Miracle Blanket, it is an unescapable swaddle blanket. You wrap your baby in this thing and they aren’t getting out until you take them out. Why would this be so important? That is, why would this blanket rank just below grandmothers and friends? (It was a tight race, by the way). Because a well-swaddled baby = a nice long stretch of sleep for Oliver = a nice long stretch of sleep for Mom and Dad. We own two of them now due to Oliver’s propensity to wet through the first one during his longest sleep stint. When he’s wrapped snugly in one of these, we can get at least three hours of sleep in a row. For those of you without kids, that’s a long long time.
4. White Noise Maker - On the theme of sleep, our pack and play has a bassinet that Oliver has been sleeping in since he got home. It also has a vibration setting, a built in soft light, music (and the ability to plug in an iPod), and a nature/white noise setting. I have found that the sound of waves helps put Oliver to sleep so Brian and I get to listen to it for about ten minutes before he goes to bed each night. It seems to work for us, too.
5. Laundry Detergent - Wow, babies go through a lot of clothes, sheets, towels, washcloths, etc. I am constantly shocked by how much laundry I am having to do for the little guy (at least one load a day). Anyone who claims to have an “eco-friendly” or “green” baby... I have one word for you: “Laundry.” Unless you’re taking those clothes down to the river and beating them on rocks, your little one has already got a big carbon footprint.
6. Sense of Humor and a Sense of Calm - These are the hardest to come by after two weeks of no sleep or when Oliver is screaming for no apparent reason but they are very very important. You have to be able to laugh when your baby pees on his fourth blanket of the night or when you get squirted in the face at a diaper change or when you forget to “point it down” when you put on a fresh diaper ... why do these all have to do with pee? You also need to be able to laugh when the baby sleeps for two hours straight but then manages to wake up screaming and hungry the minute someone puts a plate of food in front of you. You laugh to keep from crying. (And, I won’t make it a separate item, but I would like to stress here the importance of a little crying in those first few days). And a sense of calm is important for those moments when he won’t settle down and you have no idea why. You just have to take a deep breath and deal.

Maybe there’s a whole bucketload of hubris behind this post but these are the things that have made our lives a little easier as we adjust to life with baby.