Oliver the Big Brother

Oliver has shown an equal measure of love towards and genuine disinterest in Henry since he got home. This has proven to be a perfect combination. Oliver will come home from school, check in on "Baby Henry" and then go off to do his own thing. He likes to help me out when I am nursing Henry (brings me water, etc.) and is really interested in the whole breast feeding thing (my favorite moment so far has been Oliver asking me: "Can I make milk out of mines (meaning his nipples), too?"). He tells Henry he loves him and asks to give him kisses but for the most part he leaves the baby alone.

He's only really be interested in holding Henry the first day he was home. So, we got him set up on the couch, put Henry is his arms, and took a few pictures. After a few minutes, Oliver looked at me and said: "I'm done. Can I have your iPad instead?"

We haven't really dealt with any jealousy issues yet. He seems to understand that when it's time for me to feed Henry, that I have to do it right then - that Henry can't wait. But we are dealing with the residual stress of what our lives have been like for the last three months. I knew that my hospital stays were difficult on Oliver but it's only been since I've been home that I realize how difficult. From time to time, he will say things like: "When you go back to the hospital, I will miss you." And I realize that he's not entirely confident that the difficulties are behind us. So, I'm trying to find ways of assuring him that I'm not going back to the hospital without making him any promises I can't keep and without making him think it was Henry's fault that I was there in the first place. This last piece has been especially difficult since it's hard not to say: "Now that the baby's out, I don't need to go back to the hospital." Every day he seems a little more confident that I'm here to stay.