Henry's Birth Story: Part Three

My time in recovery came to an end and I was moved to my postpartum room. On my way, Analisa stopped my bed at the window of the transition nursery and I got to stare at Henry for a bit. They had tried taking him off of the oxygen hood at that point but he was still struggling to breathe. The nurse in the nursery held him up so I could get a better look at him and then we continued on to my room (I somehow scored the biggest postpartum room in the hospital. Analisa told me it was the room that L&D nurses requested when they delivered. It was huge).

I met my postpartum nurse and she got me set up with a breast pump since I still hadn't gotten to try nursing. I pumped for a bit (and was shocked to actually get some colostrum) and then sat and waited. After awhile, Dr. Grady came in with Henry and I finally got to hold him for the first time. Leigh told me that she'd like to give Brian and I some privacy but that she had to observe Henry when he was with me to make sure he wasn't in any distress. I could have cared less if she or five hundred other people had been in the room.

The way she managed to get him out of the transition nursery and into my room before his move to the NICU was she wrote an order for skin to skin contact. Sometimes baby's that are struggling to breathe can improve by being put on their mother's chest skin to skin. Something about the mother's breathing helping to regulate the baby's. So, we unswaddled him down to his diaper and tucked him into my hospital gown. I can't even begin to describe how amazing it felt to finally have his little body in my arms and against my chest.

After a few minutes my mom arrived with Oliver (she had driven in from Midland and picked him up from school on her way into town). So, I got to see Oliver see his little brother for the first time (I was afraid the timing wasn't going to work out and that he was going to see Henry in the transition nursery and I would miss the moment). Oliver came in and was so excited to see his baby brother. He looked at the baby, looked at me, looked at my open gown, and said: "Mommy, why are you so naked?" It was the perfect reaction.

An hour later the time I had been dreading came. It was time for Henry's move to the NICU. He was still grunting and breathing shallowly and rapidly so he needed the extra attention. Handing him over to the two people who came to wheel him up there was the hardest thing I think I've ever done. It killed me to say good-bye and to not be able to go with him.

After they left I spent some time visiting with Oliver and my mother but my mind was upstairs with Henry. I was determined to get up there to see him as soon as I could but considering I still couldn't move my legs I had to wait for awhile. 

This pretty much brings his birth story to an end. At the very least it closes the birth chapter and opens the chapter of his stay in the NICU. This obviously wasn't the birth I had imagined for Henry or myself. Like I said in the previous post, I'm struggling with the vocabulary of having a c section. Did I give birth? Or was he just delivered? It's hard to think of myself as the one doing any acting in this whole scenario since all I did was lay there. But it's our birth story no matter what words I use to describe it. It was one of the most joyous and difficult days of my life and it set me off on a week long challenge of living with a baby in the NICU.