30 Weeks

I had an appointment with Dr. Reich the day after Christmas. It was just a quick appointment to check in on Henry. The doctor measured me and listened to Henry's hearbeat. I'm measuring right on track (although she did say that I'm carrying long - that is Henry's out of room moving up and needs to start moving out soon. Doubtful that will happen, though, since I never really carried Oliver very far out from my body either) and Henry's heartbeat is perfect. While she was listening to him, he moved and his heartrate accelerated. She said that's the sign of a baby with an intact central nervous system. That seems like really good news. 

Once again Dr. Reich seemed really pleased and surprised that I have continued to be "crazy stable" (as she put it). In two weeks I go back for another ultrasound to check the placement of the placenta. She said that if it has moved by then that we can talk about loosening some of my restrictions as far as bed rest is concerned. I won't be taken completely off of bed rest, though, because she's not sure that the bleeding was caused by the low-lying placenta. I've given up hope that I will get back to work before the baby is born but would love to hear that I can do a little more walking or something. The good thing about these appointments is that they remind me how serious of a complication we are dealing with here. As the weeks go by and nothing happens it's hard for my mind not to wander to thoughts of: "Is this bed rest thing really necessary?" Going to see the doctor and seeing how seriously she is taking this and how concerned she is with happened reminds me that I'm doing exactly what needs to be done. 

We were getting ready to leave when Brian remembered to ask her about my three hour glucose tolerance test. It had been over a week since I'd taken it and I hadn't heard the results. Truth be told I was glad I didn't get the results before Christmas. I didn't want to hear that I needed to drastically change my diet right before my mom arrived with German Chocolate Cake. Dr. Reich walked us out to her computer to see if she had the results. I passed! With flying colors apparently. Wasn't even close. Guess I was just having an "off" day during my one hour test. Brian and I high-fived and I said: "Yes! I'm going home to have some cake!" Dr. Reich said I did so well on the test, I should add some ice cream. I love my doctor. So glad not to have to tackle another major lifestyle change.

Christmas 2012

When I was put on bed rest at the beginning of December it put our Christmas plans in jeopardy. We always go to San Antonio to spend Christmas at my mom's house. My grandmother and uncle were planning to come down there and Greg was coming from Kentucky. But the doctor insisted that I not leave town during Christmas. She wanted me close to the hospital and close to her if anything went wrong. So with only four weeks to spare my mom set out to move the entire Christmas celebration to Austin. No small feat considering our house is by no means big enough to host six adults and one three year old.

Mom found a vacation rental house on homeaway.com that was close by our house, had four bedrooms, two living rooms and a full kitchen. It was also available and reasonably priced. So she emailed the owner to see if she'd allow us to put up a Christmas tree I the house during our stay (you can't have Christmas morning without a Christmas tree). The owner agreed so we had a place where we could all be together.

On the 23rd everyone made their way to Austin. Mom, Richard, Greg, and Oliver (who had been spending the weekend with my parents) from San Antonio and my grandmother from Midland (my uncle had been dealing with his own health problems and wasn't able to join us). We gathered at our house until the 3:30 check in time at which point Operation Christmas was in full swing. We spent the afternoon and evening decorating the tree, eating Vietnamese food from Sunflower and enjoying each other's company. The house was perfect with tons of room for us all to spread out and a nice big backyard for Oliver to play in.

We spent Christmas Eve hanging out at the house (obviously). Oliver and I took a nice long nap together in the afternoon. That evening we introduced Oliver to the movie Polar Express. He loved it (as we knew he would. He's been on quite the train kick lately). He opened his Christmas pj's and a new book (Pete the Cat Saves Christmas. It was quite a proud moment for us since he opened it and then exclaimed: Yes! A new book!). He dictated a letter for me to write to Santa and set out some cookies and snacks for the big guy and his reindeer and the headed to bed.

Oliver, Brian, and I were all in the same room Christmas Eve so as soon as Oliver woke up Christmas morning, it fell to Brian and I to keep him occupied until after seven when he could go downstairs. The first thing he wanted to do when he woke up was see if Santa had eaten the snacks he left so keeping him in the rooms was a bit of a challenge but we managed. When it was time he headed downstairs and was amazed to see that his snacks had, in fact, been eaten and that Santa had left him a note. And then the present frenzy began. Oliver was obviously very good this year - Santa took good care of him.

We all spent the morning opening presents and watching Oliver enjoy his new toys. That afternoon Oliver and I took another nice long nap. In the afternoon he continued to play with his new stuff. We set up his new train set and he played with it for hours. Seriously. I've never seen him play at the same activity for that long. It's like the best babysitter ever. We had a lovely Christmas dinner of prime rib and twice baked potatoes and dijon braised brussels sprouts and after Oliver went to bed all the adults had fun playing Apples to Apples. It was a great Christmas and I'm so grateful for all of my mom's hard work to make sure it happened.

Bed Rest and Follow Up Appointments

Everything continued to be stable in the hospital so I was finally allowed to go home on Saturday morning, December 1st. The Friday before I was discharged, Dr. Reich came by to check on me and she spent about 45 minutes answering all of my questions. She sent me home on strict bed rest and I was confused about what that meant. Basically it means that I'm to be laying down or propped up on pillows for as much time as possible. I can get up to go to the bathroom, I can take a shower, and I can make myself a snack or a sandwich but I'm not allowed to stand up for more than 15 minutes at a time and I'm to keep my walking to a minimum. Basically, I can hang out on the couch or in bed or I can go to the doctor's office. I obviously can't lift Oliver (in fact, I can't lift anything over ten pounds) and I can't drive. And I am to come back to the hospital if I have fresh bleeding, if I start to have regular contractions, or if there is a decrease in Henry's movement.

She told me it was very likely I would go full term if I followed the bed rest instructions and that if my placenta moves up and Henry turns around before I go into labor that I will be allowed to try for a vaginal delivery (I had thought maybe this whole experience meant I was an automatic c-section). She also said that most women experience more bleeding. I'm trying not to obsess over that piece of information but it's nice to know because if it does happen again, I think knowing it was likely to happen again will keep me calmer. She also said that she got more results from my bloodwork and now thinks that what happened was bleeding from the edge of my placenta as opposed to a placental abruption. Basically she ran a test to see if there was any mixing of my blood and his and it came back negative. If there had been a placental abruption that test should have shown some mixing. So, that's good news. I asked her for advice on diet so that I could avoid gaining a billion pounds on bed rest.

The thing that struck me the most during our conversation was how surprised she seemed to be by how well Henry and I were doing. I hadn't been having contractions (they stopped on Wednesday), I had had no fresh bleeding and we were very stable. Seeing how surprised she was with how quickly things had turned around made me realize how very lucky we are - lucky the bleeding stopped, lucky Henry is so strong, and lucky to be going home at all.

Since I've been home I've been trying to get used to my new restrictions. The thought of being on bed rest for the next three months is terrifying so I'm trying to take it one day at a time. I keep reminding myself that being on bed rest until March when he's due is the best case scenario and should be what I'm hoping for, not what I'm dreading. I'm worried about how hard my bed rest is going to be on Brian - so much is going to fall on his shoulders now - but he's been amazing. My parents have helped out and his mom came down to spend this week with us which has been such a help! She's taking O to school and picking him up and cooking for us and giving Brian a break which is so nice.

I've been cleared to work from home by the doctor which is a relief since it's the Christmas season. Plus, it helps pass the days. So, I get up in the morning, do as much work as I can, and then spend the afternoon waiting for Oliver and Brian to get home.

I left the hospital almost two weeks ago and have been back to the doctor twice since then. The first visit was short. She measured me and listened to Henry's heartbeat and asked a few questions. I was measuring right on track and Henry sounded great. I went back this week for a longer appointment. I had an ultrasound to check my placenta again (it's moved but not enough. We'll check again in four weeks) and took my 1-hour gestational diabetes test (I failed and had to take the three hour yesterday. Still waiting on those results). I met with the doctor and she seems really happy with how well I'm doing so we are going to see each other every two weeks instead of every week. I complained that she was taking away my one outing and she told me I could go see a movie if I wanted to. I don't know if I will because I feel guilty about being able to do that but not go to work.

So, all things considered, we are doing well. Trying to keep busy and passing one day at a time. I'm 28 weeks now and so grateful to have reached this point.

Parent Teacher Conference

Brian had a meeting with Oliver's teachers this week to discuss how he's been doing in school. (They do parent-teacher conferences twice a year with all the parents). Oliver has adjusted really well to being in school since he started back in August of 2011. He loves it there and is excited to go almost every morning. I was bummed to miss the conference since I love his teachers and would have liked to have visited with them in person but Brian filled me in on all the details.

Basically, they think he's brilliant. They said he is extremely verbal and has an amazing memory. Rihab says she has been teaching three year olds for 20 years and she's never known a kiddo with the ability to remember things - stories, events, etc. - like Oliver. They also said he is one of the most polite kids they've ever worked with, answering questions with: "Yes, please." and "No, thanks." They said he's usually in a great mood and does good listening. They said he gets along well with the other kids even though they all have their ornery moments.

He has a best friend at school named Hedia. She went to Taiwan with her family for an extended vacation and won't be back until February. Brian and I were really worried about how Oliver has adjusted to Hedia being gone. When Brian asked Terri and Rihab about it, they both began to laugh. Apparently, Hedia and Oliver are inseparable but all they do is fight constantly. So, I think the teachers are glad to have a break from the constant bickering.

Brian asked them what Oliver needs to work on and they said that while his gross motor skills are great, he could use some focus on fine motor skills - holding pencils, using zippers and buttons, etc. - so we are trying to find activities to work on those with him.

But all in all it was a rave. It was nice to hear that he seems to save his most difficult moments for us at home.

The Sunshines on a field trip to the Pumpkin Patch.

And here's Oliver's school picture from this fall (they bring in a great photographer and do the pictures outside so we end up with some awesome pictures):

26 Weeks - What a difference two weeks makes...

WARNING: Parts of this post may be a little graphic. So, if you're queasy about blood, etc., you might want to skip this one. Sorry, but I want to have a record of this so this post is more for me than anyone.

I can't believe that two weeks ago I was writing a blog post about how smoothly this pregnancy was going and how it seemed to be flying by. I can't believe that on Tuesday night I went to bed thinking how quickly time was moving and how fortunate I was to be having such a complication-free pregnancy. It's crazy how quickly things change.

I woke up Tuesday night/Wednesday morning around 2:30 to go to the bathroom. As soon as I stood up I realized that my pajama pants were completely soaked with something. I said: "Oh, no" loudly enough to wake up Brian, got to the bathroom and turned on the light to find that I was covered in blood. I practically screamed to Brian: "I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding." I got my pants down and sat on the toilet and blood kept pouring out of me. I have NEVER in my life been as frightened as I was at that moment. I had gone through forty-one weeks of my first pregnancy and twenty-six weeks of this one with not even the slightest spotting and now I was losing what looked like a lot of blood and worse, I couldn't feel the baby moving.

I was a wreck but Brian stayed calm, grabbed the phone, called our friend, Liz, and told her to come over to sit with Oliver so that we could go to the hospital. I got some clean clothes on and called the doctor's office while we waited for Liz to arrive (she was there within five minutes). The doctor on call called me back quickly and told me to get to the hospital ASAP and she would let them know we were on our way (we were, by that point, already in the car heading down to the hospital). I don't remember much of the drive down - just the fact that Brian held my hand the whole time and I kept telling the baby to "move, just move."

We arrived at the ER and they paged someone to come down from labor and delivery to wheel us up to that unit. We were sent straight to a room and they immediately got out the monitor to start looking for the baby's heartbeat. They put the monitor on my belly and we heard... nothing. Not a sound. They moved it around and around and couldn't find him and my heart broke. I was completely devastated and panicked and couldn't stop crying. One nurse left to find our doctor (Dr. Reich was actually on call that night) to see if she would have any luck and two nurses stayed behind and continued to move the monitor all over my belly. And then after what seemed like forever (but was probably no longer than five minutes) we heard it - the galloping horse of a heartbeat that told us that our little boy was still there.

Dr. Reich walked in right as they located the heartbeat and we started to go over the chain of events. I told her what had happened and she asked if I had done anything strenuous the day before. I told her that Tuesday had been a calm day but I had run three miles on Monday. She looked up and said: "How was your run?" (She's a runner, too, which is part of the reason I chose her as a doctor since I knew she'd be supportive of my running throughout the pregnancy). I told her it was great and she said: "Good. That was your last one." I said: "Man, I'm going to get so fat."

She asked about the bleeding at home and wanted to know the consistency of the blood. She wanted to be sure we were just dealing with blood and not with amniotic fluid. That is, she wanted to make sure my water hadn't broken. They brought in an ultrasound machine and she took a look at the baby and saw him kicking all over the place. She checked on my placenta and though it was still low it wasn't covering my cervix and she couldn't see anything out of sorts. She then did a pelvic exam and found another large blood clot coming out of my cervix.

After my exam she described what had happened as a "significant bleed" and told us that we needed to treat it aggressively because there was a chance with a bleed that size that we would have to deliver the baby that day. I couldn't believe what she was saying. I was barely 26 weeks along, how could they be talking about delivering him? She ordered a round of two steroid shots to boost his lung development and a 12 hour course of magnesium sulfate. Magnesium sulfate is often used to stop contractions when a mother goes into preterm labor but she was prescribing it to help boost his brain development and decrease the risk of cerebral palsy if we had to deliver. She also said that since he was breech at this point that if I did deliver that day, it would automatically be a c-section and that although I didn't seem to be having any contractions at that point that it would be highly unusual for a woman to bleed as much as I did and not start to experience some contractions.

At some point during all of this one of the nurses asked if he had a name yet. Brian and I looked at each other and nodded. We had a name we had been really loving and just the evening before Oliver had declared that it was his favorite pick for his brother's name so we told them yes... His name is Henry Charles Contine.

Dr. Reich ordered a NICU consult so that we could be prepared for what to expect if we did have to deliver. The NICU doctor came down and spent about 30 minutes with us describing in great detail all of the challenges that lay ahead of a baby born at 26 weeks gestational age. It was a scary report and I don't even want to start going into all of what she told us. She finished and I thanked her for her time, told her it was nice to meet her, and that I hoped I would never have to see her again (hope she didn't find me too rude).

By this time we'd been there about an hour or so. I'd had one steroid shot which wasn't bad and was started on the magnesium sulfate drip which made me feel so completely bizarre. Dr. Reich stopped by on her way out and told us that she was obviously going to keep me in the hospital to be observed. She said if the bleeding stopped for 48 hours, then she would send me home but that if I bled again I'd be back in the hospital until I delivered. And, when she did send me home I'd be on bed rest until delivery. Suddenly not running anymore didn't seem like such a big deal. She ordered some bloodwork and said she'd be back to check on me later.

The nurse finished up my admission paperwork and by the time it was done it was around 4:30. We called family to let them know what was going on and then we tried to rest for a bit. Brian headed back to the house around 6:30 so he could be there when Oliver woke up. I hated to think of him waking up in a house with both of us missing so I was glad Brian could do that. He sent Liz up to sit with me when he got home. She brought my laptop and I tried getting some work done (I was supposed to be going to Boston next week to sell books at a conference so I was a little on edge trying to figure out what to do about that trip). My mom got to the hospital a little after eight or so. Brian came back after he had dropped off Oliver. I was so glad to have them both there. Nothing worse than being in the hospital by yourself.

At that point I was on strict bedrest. I wasn't allowed to get up at all so I had to use a bedpan when I needed to go to the bathroom. I was also not allowed to eat or drink anything in case they had to take me into surgery. The bleeding had completely stopped at that point which was great news. And Henry was looking strong and healthy on the monitor (even if he did like to swim away from it every once in awhile. The poor nurses had to chase him all over my belly). I was having a few contractions but they weren't painful and they weren't falling into a pattern (in fact, most of them I couldn't feel) so they just kept an eye on them.

After a few hours, Dr. Reich came back in to check on me. She told me I could start trying to get up to use the bathroom but that if I started to bleed again, it would be back to the bedpan. She also said that I could start eating which was welcome news since it was afternoon on Wednesday and I hadn't eaten since Tuesday evening. Being able to eat also meant that the danger of immediate delivery had passed. She said she was off the next day but that someone from her practice would stop by to see me and she'd see me again on Friday, saying: "I'll be back Friday. And you'll still be here and you'll still be pregnant." That was good news. She said the bloodwork she had ordered came back and it indicated that I had suffered a small placental abruption (when the placenta pulls away from the wall of the uterus) but that it was a good sign that the bleeding had stopped so quickly.

Brian and my mom spent the afternoon entertaining me in the hospital and then Brian went to pick Oliver up at school. Before he left, I recorded a little video on Brian's phone telling Oliver I couldn't wait to see him. We thought this would help since he'd be able to see all the tubes and stuff coming off of me and then maybe seeing me wouldn't be such a shock. It seemed to work because Oliver walked right into the room, said: "Hi, Mom!", crawled into bed with me and watched a few episodes of Thomas and Friends on my computer. He left the monitors and my IV alone for the most part and we turned up the monitor so he could hear Henry's heartbeat for a bit.

My mom brought me Thai food from Titaya's for dinner, we ate, and then she headed back to the house. I know that either my mom or Brian would have stayed with me overnight if I asked but I was afraid I wouldn't get any sleep if they were there (that I'd use their presence as an excuse to keep chatting rather than try to sleep). After my mom left, I called the nurse to help me to the bathroom one last time. Before she left my room, I asked her if I could ask her a stupid question. Henry had been slipping off the monitor all day long and it had been keeping me on edge so I wanted her to reassure me that someone else was watching the monitor. I got really teary and said: "Y'all are watching this, right?" She said someone was watching it at all times. I knew that was true but I needed to hear it before I could try to sleep. So, I closed my eyes, tried my best to get comfortable and tried to sleep. Any time I would hear a change in the monitor, I'd tell myself: "They're watching. They're watching. They're watching." I managed to get a few hours sleep at a time. I woke up at one point convinced I was bleeding again and called my nurse in. It turned out to be old blood which was a relief. The nurse had to keep coming back in all night, though, when Henry would move and the monitor would lose him. So, it was a restless night.

The nurse came in at four to give me my second steroid shot. As I mentioned, the first one wasn't that bad but the second one? Dear God! IT HURT! I guess I had so much adrenaline pumping through my body with the first one that I didn't really register the pain. This one hurt a lot and for a long time. Around six the doctor came in and checked on me. She was glad to hear I hadn't had anymore active bleeding, said I could come off of continuous monitoring, and that at some point today I could transfer to the non-emergency side of antepartum. I asked her if I could take a shower and she said she'd already written in the chart that I could. As though she came in took a look at me and made a mental note: "Shower for this one."

I was transferred later this afternoon (after my shower) and got settled into the room I'm still in. Mom and Brian have been with me as much as possible. Oliver came by this afternoon after school and Liz and Lindsey came to hang out this evening. Things seem to have calmed down a lot but I'm still on edge and uncertain of what the future holds. I see Dr. Reich tomorrow and am hopeful that she'll let me go home at that point. But my pregnancy is now considered "high risk" and I'm still dumbfounded by how quickly everything has changed.

24 Weeks - Pregnancy Update

I went in this week for my 24 week appointment. This pregnancy seems to be flying by. It feels like we just found out yesterday that we were having a baby and now we are only 16 weeks away from our due date.

We have a different OB with this baby than we did with Oliver. Our OB for Oliver moved to Dallas so we had to find a new doctor. Luckily Dauphin and Kelly loved the OB they were working with for her pregnancy and we were able to get in with her - Dr. Stephanie Reich. I really like her. She's calm, reassuring, and lets me eat sushi once a week.

My pregnancy so far has gone really smoothly (much like it did with Oliver). I've felt more relaxed through this pregnancy since we planned this kiddo. I have had some moments of anxiety (mostly because I have an anterior placenta and don't feel him moving as much as I'd like) but not as many as with Oliver since he was such a surprise! Although I think that if I had written this post six weeks ago it would be about all of the anxiety I've been feeling. But now that I'm feeling him move every day my  nerves have calmed a lot. This little boy has been tracking on growth at every turn - his heartbeat is strong, his anatomy scan looked good, and the genetic testing we did came back fine.

At my anatomy scan last month the doctor was concerned that my placenta was lying too close to my cervix so she wanted to check it again at this week's appointment to see if it had moved. No such luck. It's still lying within a centimeter of my cervix. We will check again at the next appointment (at 28 weeks). The doctor says that the placenta moves far enough away from the cervix in a majority of cases. Of course, if mine does not, then I will be delivering this kiddo via c-section. I had been hoping to try for a natural childbirth this time so a c-section would kind of bum me out but the way he arrives doesn't matter nearly as much as him arriving healthy. But this whole wait and see approach is throwing a wrench in my natural childbirth plans either way. I want to find a class to take (either in person or a self study course) and I would like to hire a doula. But I don't want to start shelling out that kind of money until we know for sure that I'll be able to try for a vaginal birth. So... we wait.

Getting Back into the Blog of Things

So... why start up this poor neglected blog again after such a long absence? Certainly only a major life event could be responsible for such a newfound resolution for documenting our family.

That major event? Finding out that our family is growing by one come next March. Brian (and Oliver) and I are so excited to be welcoming another little boy into our family. And, after talking to many of my friends who are second children, I was afraid of the complexes that little boy might develop if I do not strive to document his life the way his brother's has been documented (you know, obsessively for a year and a half, and then sporadically after that). So, I'm resolving myself to start again.

I'm slowly migrating the old posts over to this new format (our old website is now defunct) but am going to try to keep up with new posts as much as possible - including trying to catch up on what we've been up to for the past year or so. No point in waiting until January 1st for resolutions, right?

Sick Day... Make That Week

We've had our ups and downs with Oliver's health this year. It started out rough with two visits to the ER within six weeks at the beginning of the year for wheezing. Both times he was in such bad shape that he skipped triage and went straight back to be seen (it's never a good sign when your kiddo is the sickest one in the ER). After those scares we went to his doctor to try and get his breathing troubles under control. We ran some allergy tests (turns out he's allergic to grass but not to animal dander) and the doctor put him on a preventative steroid regimen - two breathing treatments a day for a year. And since then he's done great. A few colds here and there but nothing too serious and no wheezing.

All that changed this week. He started feeling sick on Sunday and by Monday morning was coughing and wheezing so badly that I had to keep him home with me. We did an albuterol treatment and the wheeze cleared up but he still wasn't feeling great. Tuesday morning was the same story. By Tuesday afternoon we thought he'd be able to go back to school the next day but then he spiked a fever. Wednesday he stayed home with Brian and they went to the doctor. She said it was probably viral and only time would take care of it. Fever spiked again Wednesday night and he was home again with Brian on Thursday. He seemed to be getting better Thursday but then started throwing up and threw out a super high fever Thursday night. So, no school on Friday either. Luckily my stepfather was able to watch him on Friday so Brian and I could get some work done (thank you, thank you, thank you, Richard!). And the weekend seems to have given him enough time to recover so we'll be back to our routine tomorrow.

He's never missed more than two days of school in a row before so this week was stressful (Brian and I are both really looking forward to a normal work day tomorrow). But, even though he was pretty sick this week, he never had an asthmatic episode like he had been having earlier this year - the steroids really do seem to be helping even if it was extremely difficult to recognize that this past week.

Halloween 2012

This is the first year that Oliver has really "gotten" Halloween. He decided on his costume himself and spent days looking forward to the candy coming his way. At first he said he wanted to be Pete the Cat again. We told him he had to pick something different and he chose Woody from Toy Story. I didn't want to get him a store-bought costume but I was also crazy busy and didn't have time to make him one. Enter my talented mother. We went shopping a few weeks ago for supplies for the costume and she created the whole thing herself. I think it looked great!

My absolute favorite part of the whole costume was the loop for Woody's pull string on the back of the vest. So cute. And the best thing about it was that it was comfortable and he didn't mind wearing it.

On Halloween day, we all went to the fall festival at his school and then headed home to hand out candy. We set up chairs in the front lawn and waited for the trick-or-treaters. Oliver took his candy handing out duties very seriously. After a bit, he and Brian set out so he could do his own trick-or-treating. They were gone almost an hour (last year he made it to about three houses and then was done) and Brian said he did great at every house - saying "trick or treat" and "thank you" to everyone.

At the park (post by Brian)...

It doesn’t make any sense, but it happens. Or it happened. When Oliver was born, I loved him right away. And, despite what some greeting cards will tell you, my love for him hasn’t grown in almost three years of life. I loved him fully and completely from the start. But something happened about a month ago that I can’t stop thinking about, so I thought I’d share a story with you.

I picked Oliver up from school and we went to the park. Pease Park is in the middle of Austin, and has a huge footprint, with two play areas, basketball courts, a running trail, and wide, grassy areas for running and falling. It’s a great park. The first thing that I notice when I get Oliver out of the car at Pease is that he immediately starts planning his attack. Making decisions about where to start, what’s new, or what can he try this time that he was too small or too timid to try last time. It’s one of my favorite things to see, Oliver’s furrowed brow as he scans the park, thinking hard about his decision.

This particular day, Oliver scanned quickly, and his eyes widened. There was a group of four kids playing in an open area. They had an oversized, plush Frisbee that they took turns flinging and chasing. It was obvious what O’s choice was, so he started inching towards this motley crew of children. I always let him walk in front of me, and he’s usually happy to do so, but this time he held back. He grabbed my leg, walked to the left, then walked to the right, getting closer to his target, but slowly. I let him go at his own speed, but I could feel that he was being shy. That’s ok. After a few more moments of posturing, he turned to me,

“Daddy, I want to play with them.”

“Go for it,” I said.

“Help me,” he pleaded.

I said, “No. If you want to play, then you have to go over, introduce yourself, and ask if you can hang out with them.”

“Daddy, please….” Pathetic, soft voice.

“No.” I stood my ground, but was about to cave, when…

Oliver looked at me, looked at the kids, and did the math in his head. I saw it like a light being turned on. He made his decision. His chest puffed out, his head pointed forward, and he stomped over to the group of children. If you’ve ever watched Oliver walk with a purpose, you know it’s not a delicate thing. He pounds the ground with his feet, punishing the earth for being in his way. He swings his arms in a tight, powerful circle that has intention all over it. He didn’t look back once. When he got to the kids, he introduced himself and asked if he could have a turn. A little redhead named Liam handed Oliver the Frisbee, and Oliver, ecstatic, threw it with all his strength. The plush projectile smacked Liam right between the eyes.

What I like about this story is that I gave Oliver advice to do something I would never be able to do myself. I see people I want to meet every day, but I don’t go talk to them. I play the coward, and I go on without ever giving myself the chance to meet some really nice folks. Oliver was brave, and his bravery was rewarded.

Like I mentioned before, I’ve loved Oliver completely from the moment I met him, but until this moment in the park, when he puffed out his chest and acted boldly and without fear, I never realized how much I respect him as a person. He jumps into life with passion in a way I’m going to try and emulate.